Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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