is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We need to rekindle our bromance
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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