Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
