i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
