This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Someone shit on the floor
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
