sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize