I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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