woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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