I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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