If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
