How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
