yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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