she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
