8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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