I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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