I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
