After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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