Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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