I heard we made out
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I puked a lego.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
