hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
