What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
