If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
