Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
