she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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