It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize