I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
