Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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