last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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