Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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