Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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