I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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