You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
