they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
