Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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