She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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