i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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