did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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