...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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