Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
