i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he shaved USA in his pubs
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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