Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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