nut hugger
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
