Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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