it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
