Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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