i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
