Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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