Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
