Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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