you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
