Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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