You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If that was your dad, he is hot
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
