Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I enjoy the company of your penis
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
