Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
