Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
